I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
