things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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