Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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