But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
