U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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