I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
