I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
