So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
