Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
