Sponge bath it is.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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