She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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