dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize