Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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