I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
