DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
