Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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