my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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