Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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