It was confusing and full of hummus
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize