just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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