i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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