if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
