my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
please don't ironically join a cult
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