There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize