Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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