this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize