I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Your penis caused this!
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