Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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