Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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