i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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