Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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