So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
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It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
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I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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