So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
