Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
