I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
