So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize