I CAN MOONWALK!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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