I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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