i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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