Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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