So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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