i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
