I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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