Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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