new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
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I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
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Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.