i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize