STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.