I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
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I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.