a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
