My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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