The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
