textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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