he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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