You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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