Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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