There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You're my little dorito
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
