hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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