in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize