I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize