I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize