I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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