So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
