her vagine was all disorganized.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
